I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
