So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't deserve a penis
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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