Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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