if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
