I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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