i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
