Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize