No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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