I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
