I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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