with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
