If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
