we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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