Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
