he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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