Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
