I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
