"it" just moved
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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