dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It's just like the Real World with babies
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
