When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
