Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
