Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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