since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
