and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
