a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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