In the future we'll all be gay
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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