I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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