maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
