they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
