I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
