Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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