Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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