i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
