just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
