I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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