Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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