yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize