I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
