question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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