I'm going to jail i love you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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