He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
