Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
