There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
