I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
