There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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