Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
