jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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