there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize