Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
