My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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