wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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