I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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