found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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