Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
