bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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