even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just had sex on a roof
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
