I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
