I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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