I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
