but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
