So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
