They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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