i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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